Here’s a little light-hearted post I think a lot of twin parents and those with two of similar ages may relate to. Do any of these ring true in your house? Can you suggest a few more? Please do comment as I’m sure there’s a whole heap I’ve missed.
- You stash chocolate bars that aren’t in pairs (or eat the odd bar yourself). As a twin mum, you know that only having one Freddo or Kinder Suprise in the fridge results in a full-blown war if one sticky paw gets hold of it first. You buy identical chocolate pairs, failing that Twix, Bounty or Kit-Kats that can be split equally. Woe betides a hubby or friend that steals one from the hoard on the quiet!
- The twin with the biggest portion of chips has undeniable proof you love them most. A portion of chips will be stared at, prodded and assessed before considered edible. They may even be counted. There will be discussions, tears, and food refusal should one twin find out you have wronged them by giving them less or providing chips that are not as long or as crispy as the others.
Gang force is used to convince you cushions do not belong on the sofa. You will get told off if you sit on or try and replace cushions whilst den making is in progress. You should be aware that cushions are the walls of forts and the floors of castles – as are sun lounger cushions, removable sofa bases, pillows and anything else that can be moved or used to make a house. You should also have two of each cushion and separate locations for dens in the same room to avoid the inevitable builder vs demolition expert fall out or prepare for giving a lengthy lecture on how to share.
- You can’t help but get annoyed at whinging ‘singleton’ parents. “You can’t imagine what it’s like – she just won’t sleep” – well hello! I had this fussing in stereo remember. “Oh, I’m so tired he’s up every three hours for a feed. I’m totally exhausted” – Blah! Wimp- get yourself some decent coffee, the first round was my practice round! “My little Boo is sick. I hope she get’s better soon so we don’t all catch it” – Lady, see you later. I’m off to use my season ticket down the chemist. Yes, both of mine will catch it, probably consecutively. I better organise extended cover at work and make use of those discount vouchers for Calpol!
- Your days will not be spent lazily pottering around the house cooking great food for the family as the kids play nicely. They will, in fact, be spent doubled over trying to free a very important piece of lego from under the sofa, picking up toys (that are easily within reach of your child) to try and avoid a tantrum, or trying to avoid the pain of treading on a die-cast fire engine or Lamborghini
- You become a scratched record. Over 50% of the day is spent saying; “share”, “play nicely”, “no hitting” – Repeat.
- You are sick of the word “why?”. Why do I have to put socks on Mommy? Why is the sky blue? Why do have I have clean my teeth? Why can’t girls pee standing up? – Why? Why? Oh, blummin’ WHY?! – I’ll tell you why – because Mommy says so – that’s why!
- Way too much time is wasted discussing food. Trying to convince kids that peas are not evil, carrots not deadly and the soup you made is not ” like sick” takes practice and creativity. Peppa Pig has never had so much soup, Peter Rabbit does live on carrots and the Paw Patrol really do eat all their lamb chops – now eat that!
- You survive on apologies and caffeine/wine. You would dearly love to catch-up with a friend over lunch or Skype your family abroad but rely on WhatsApp messages and Facebook Messenger quips to say “Sorry I can’t make it but the kids…” or “Maybe next time?” – that’s if you have the time or the inclination to send a message at all. Your time is spent surviving on coffee or longing for the moment they are asleep and you can pour yourself a glass of vino.
- Clothes shopping means buying the same thing twice – except maybe in different colours. A trip to get clothes for same-sex young twins means finding two of the same size in a similar design or colour to avoid arguments. And, guess what – invariably there will only ever be one that fits left in the store!
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